I sat down in front of the fire one evening last week, cracked the spine of a new notebook, turned to the first page, picked up a lovely pen and prepared to write.
An hour later, I closed the book and put it away, that first page still completely empty.
You see, it's alright being able to write a bit, a blessing even. But it's also a curse when you just don't have any ideas.
I know, I know, I've read all those books about writing too. I know the idea that all you need is a character, put them in a situation and start writing to see what happens next. But it's an approach I have always struggled with. Besides, every situation I thought of that evening, by the fire, was unoriginal. Just like a struggling author bereft of ideas is unoriginal.
What next? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe I should get a job as the caretaker of an isolated hotel.
I dream of getting that job...
ReplyDeleteI've heard it's all work and no play...
DeleteArgh. If only it were so simple but I know it's not. I often dream of becoming more of a fine artist than an illustrator, but I would have similar issues with getting started on things. Then there's the curse of the gorgeous new crisp clean paper in your notebook and your lovely pen by the quiet comfort of your fire. They tease and invite and promise a fabulous fresh start but their standards, their expectations, are almost too high. Maybe you could try another approach.... start scribbling on the backs of old takeaway menus with a blobby biro in a busy fish'n'chip shop and see if that helps?!
ReplyDeleteMaybe, but right now I feel that nothing would help. It's a horrible feeling, that sense that I can craft a phrase but am paralysed by a dearth of ideas. Almost as bad as the sneaking suspicion that actually I'm just not very good, and this creative rut gives me an easy out, rather than get back into the cycle of writing and inevitable rejection.
DeleteThe thing is, Martin, you ARE good. DTTDE, and your short stories, are your proof. It's still in you, you just need to find it again. I agree about the ideas vs the craft itself - I would have that issue most of all too I think. Do you ever have interesting dreams that you could turn into ideas, or at least use as a starting point? I had one the other night with a very involved kind of plot, I'm sure it was beyond anythig that I could come up with with my conscious mind!
DeleteSeldom do I actually remember much detail about my dreams, sadly. When I do it's usually because either something inconceivably surreal has happened or something devastatingly sad/bad. You've read my work, you may think surreal/sad/bad would be perfect for inspiration, but even I have limits. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement though, C, that always means something.
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